Wednesday, September 30, 2015

This Day of Questionable Judgement

Progress Continues!

Though not without complication.  #0 has been a bit irritated with me since I wrote about their Tyrian counterpart on a post for a RP 'job' for the players of Guild Wars 2. Surprisingly sensitive, #0. In any case I am striving to cut down on irritating them. Ever since we shutdown Retekra Industries they have if anything only gotten more anxious about reprisals. I intend to leave them out of future writing efforts and otherwise try to reduce their stress level.

Something we've done HAS irked our enemies however. Though to say their sense of humor is twisted beyond mirth is a profound understatement- this time however they've actually done something very funny. They've threatened to expose the project Retekra deduced the partial nature of themselves.

Given they would have to expose their own possession of similar shall we say... under-regulated technology, which they have ALREADY abused terribly- Well, now I see a bit of where Retekra gets their hideously deranged incompetence from, if outlandish heritage claims could be said to have any merit.

Ah, but I am no doubt losing the audience- not that I presume very many not scouring it for intel to use against us read the bloody thing.

 Meanwhile it's a good day for science in general. In most places.

For examples of it going wrong, there is always Sadly, This is Not the Onion.

Where on this day you can find where an university's students have protested a Mexican restaurant handing out sombreros because it's racist. I'm sure they're very proud of themselves, for far too long have people near the University of East Anglia been inflicting the unspeakable act of wearing novelty hats while eating Mexican food. Mexico was going to threaten war over that any day now.

Yes, why on earth would they be concerned with the fact their country has an alarmingly large percentage of it effectively under the rule of drug cartels when British people could be eating a burrito in comical attire.

Meanwhile in yet another example of Zealotry leading idiots to effectively campaign against their own supposed goals, 'hardcore' vegans have been protesting to get dog meat put on the menu. Please do take a close look at the photos. These people have convinced themselves that railing about how people will eat cows, but not dogs, means they are horrible hypocrites. As if people who ate meat took some sacred vow to consume all animal life.

"Oh, oh, you eat COW?! Well, why don't you eat DOG?! Why not KITTENS?! Why not Platypus?! I don't see you eating the AUSTRALIAN CONE SNAIL, HYPOCRITE!"

But for two silly and bad ideas I note Sadly, This is Not the Onion does not always promote such.

In fact, today it refers to a silly and GOOD idea as Kansas Governor Sam Brownback declares October "Zombie Preparedness Month".

It's terribly silly and dovetails all too well with Rural U.S. fantasies in which they get to fire off shotguns slightly more gratuitously- but to effect. Yet, it does promote good habits that may well serve all the citizens of Kansas in the event of any number of catastrophes, such as tornadoes, which Kansas is certainly not unfamiliar with.

So, please, more of the last and less of the first two, world.

Thanks in advance.

Also Retekra is soon to get his blog privileges back. He lost them recently after trying to sneak in edits to one of the few parts of his blog he is not allowed to edit.

I am being told that this will be good and that when he's writing his deranged babble- primarily about rubbish marijuana-fueled 'philosophical' posts from others on Tumblr- they are much more manageable. I'm taking the handler's word for it as to do otherwise would mean talking to Retekra myself.


Progress continues.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Shake the CYBER-VAWG for the Babby

Progress Continues!

Not that long ago I had the curious good fortune to acquire, by means #0 most assuredly would not approve of me discussing, a rather unique vantage point. One which has me both constantly busy and also so idle I hardly know what to do with my time.

Such a perspective leads you to noticing certain things, like for instance how precisely America controls it's self-unaware citizens and gets them to- again and again- vote against their own best interests and in the favor of the Corporations that now have more powerful civil rights than they do.

Not that private interest was particularly weak BEFORE the Supreme Court more or less said they had a constitutional right to buy political candidates.

Don't slap yourselves on the back, though, International Community- most of your governments tend to do the same things to similar results. In fact, one tactic has been SO successful that they've bought it in bulk and are putting it before the United Nations.

Red Herrings are the political McBurger, they even don't have to be particularly good to get people to buy them.

Ideally Red Herrings that are dramatic but at best/worst simply make things a touch more difficult for poor people while protecting lucrative business opportunities from worrisome public scrutiny or opposition.

In the United States the Red Herring of choice is Abortion. It's emotionally charged (angering in particular, one of the emotions of choice for shutting down higher brain function), it allows people to believe they are defending innocent babies or the rights of individuals and best of all no matter what side people are on in the argument- there is absolutely no risk whatsoever the topic will result in any meaningful government reform. (Yet people will support or abandon a candidate over this one issue.)

Meanwhile with Net Neutrality more or or less dead in the U.S. the corporations that stand to profit now set their sights on this hated enemy on an international stage. They've learned that if Net Neutrality becomes a dominant topic, then the public can be rallied to interfere because sadly there are enough people who understand its importance to do so.

What to do... What to do...

From the CYBER-VAWG report HERE.
Have YOU been the VICTIM of CYBER VIOLENCE?! I know I have, as- I believe- just about anyone who has played an online Player-Versus-Player game that has made the mistake of allowing combatants to speak to each other.

Oh, wait, I forgot to ask the important question. Are you female? No? Ok, well, you don't count then. MEN can TAKE such abuse, Women however are so sensitive to the bad words and hollow threats on the Internet that only MEN can handle (There is no Cyber Violence Against People Report) that apparently that we must relabel it CYBER VIOLENCE and PURGE it from the internet to protect their delicate sensibilities.

Oh, does that sound sexist? Damselling perhaps? Well, we'll just have to find some women who've made their careers on selling this concept, and have them do it for us. We'll put them before the U.N.

It's only internalized patriarchy if it goes against the media narrative.
Oh, look, there they are.

I am particularly disappointed that for someone who made their initial videos under the supposed intent to fight the trope of reducing women to being Damsels in Distress in video games, Ms. Sarkeesian jumped on the effort to Damsel them in real life and DAMSEL THEM HARD.


Working with the industry to make the internet safe for VAWG? I thought VAWG was the enemy...

Well, problem solved. The forces behind this know the topic can be useful and profitable for all involved- except the average citizen. It's proven! I mean, look back at the shambling horror that was GamerGate. Tremendous potential to reform internet 'journalism' shut down with the blanket generalization that everyone not venomously opposed to GamerGate and anything it had to say was a Misogynistic Shitlord who must be destroyed to protect women.

Now they can bring that shallow, self-congratulatory and ironically profoundly patriarchal attitude to a more lucrative issue than protecting internet hack reviewers and other 'journalists' from scrutiny of their ethics. (Which as we have seen from the last entry was a lost opportunity indeed.)

Do you think this is a distraction? A Red Herring to keep the people hyped up and fighting for the emotionally charged and 'clearly' visible RIGHT side? While vastly shadier but less dramatic transactions get slipped past in the noise?


Bam. Attention wonderfully drawn away from where the money will be made at the expense of the lower classes, starting from the upper-middle I might note.

I detest unnecessary (actual) violence. Fake violence is grand, because thus far fake violence is decades away from posing any scientifically verifiable threat to human life in any capacity- and words, however mean spirited or in poor taste, do not even qualify for that. Mind you, civility on the internet could stand to be improved considerably. Just... Well, for everyone. Also it's not ACTUALLY a matter of life and death.

We would be better off dropping the hyperbole and offering free courses on how to deal with obnoxious people in a healthy manner and how to avoid BEING obnoxious. (First step, don't threaten violence. Against anyone.)

If the U.N. and U.S.A. want to tighten the laws on stalking regardless of gender, that would be lovely. I believe we already have laws against what these CYBER-VAWGers threaten to do.

Meanwhile CYBER-VAWG sounds like a terrible monster indeed. Right at home in the lazy Sci-Fi of your choice. Wait- didn't I see that in an episode of 'Starbarians'?

No, I must have been mistaken.

Progress continues.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Buzzfeed's HIV-Negative Shaming OR : Buzzfeed Believes HIV Favorably Comparable to Bellbottom Jeans

Progress continues.

Not for some however. In fact, some people have once again decided to get so VERY progressive they have gone from advocating equality to advocating for a disease, which makes them objectively more foolish than Anti-Vaccine activists.

Patrick Strudwick, the Buzzfeed LGBT Editor has apparently opened his mind so far it has vanished within itself leaving a quantum paradox of bad logic in it's place.
Unasked courtesy of  Bubbachrissy

The article persists HERE, somehow.

The article, sadly, is not commenting on what an absurd thing it is to view HIV as 'a complication' that one is ever 'ready for'.

No, it is indeed shaming the individual for rejecting an encounter with someone because they have HIV, however politely they did so while celebrating- CELEBRATING the 'slapdown' of the rejected. What WAS this epic slapdown you ask?

"You wear flared bellbottoms? Clearly that is worse than AIDS. I regret ever contacting you, Sir."

I would note that Mr. Knight and Mr. Strudwick are both writers in the UK. What are the odds they are friends, hrm? This celebrating of mediocre burns to the end of shaming someone who, bafflingly, doesn't want to risk aquiring or actually aquire a terminal illness? The product of unethical journalism?

No, I am sure this is in no way a factor.

Ohey, this epic battle of wits continue- what brilliantly comic wisdom did Mr. Knight have for this loathsome virus not-wanter that assuredly warrants celebration and in no way confirms his opponent is distinctly more rational?

But... Fashion sense can improve. HIV, presently, is still QUITE TERMINAL. Mr. Knight, unrealistic? Well, perhaps not as much as Mr. Strudwick.
This all quite infuriating as it's social pressure being applied directly in opposition to good sense for the sake of ego.

Individuals afflicted with HIV should not be unfairly discriminated against, but it does not obligate anyone to get into a relationship- and certainly doesn't obligate anyone to sleep with them. Shaming someone for not being willing to take that risk is... Well, dramatically more disgusting still. Advocating otherwise isn't being progressive, it's encouraging the spread of a terminal illness.

This isn't an anti-gay statement, it's a pro-gay-health statement. If idiots of this caliber had their sway, it would objectively  shorten the lifespan and lower the quality of life for those who were encouraged to welcome or spread the disease.

If an individual has HIV, their life is going to be harder and shorter for it. It is tragic and this is why the disease, like all other diseases, must be fought- not social engineering applied to turn them into badges of honor or a fashion statement.

When your mission leads to increased death and disease in the populace you CLAIM to champion, Mr. Strudwick, I suspect you need to take a VERY HARD LOOK at what you are doing and why.

Famous for being HIV. Chemsex. This is a Gay Health magazine? GOOD Health? It would better serve the aims of people who want Gays dead.
There is something very wrong with this community. This is not funny, This is utterly horrible. This is rapidly approaching Bug-Chasers-Level insanity.

Discriminating against a disease is NOT quite the same as discriminating again against a person. A person afflicted with the disease IS subject to discrimination AGAINST the disease because the disease MUST be fought or else you are serving to further a plague.

Someone with an illness of this nature should not be shunned, they should not be hated, they should have every practical liberty the uninfected have- but this must not be expanded into pressure for the uninfected to take risks they are not comfortable with- for what should be self-obvious reasons.

If the disease is fought and diminished, then ever-fewer people will ever need to worry about these issues or face the NECESSARY discrimination against the disease. Is that not worth fighting for and, at the very least, accepting polite rejection with a modicum of grace?

Clearly, Mr. Knight. Clearly.
Mr. Knight quite likely does feel victimized- and he HAS been- by a disease (or whoever infected them, possibly). Attempting to pressure anyone into taking risks of acquireing it themselves however, primarily serves the aims of his antagonist, the disease, regardless of what he wants.

Let's now think of something a bit less stupid, such as the last Superman film. It did not in fact, encourage the spread of AIDS in any capacity.

What is it with the last name Knight in any case? It seems to have a habit of turning up in trouble.

Progress continues.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Questionable Decisions

Progress continues.

I am starting to suspect the sinus-implanted explosive in Retekra Rotcerid was intentionally faulty. No doubt some added bit of manipulation to ensure I didn't dispose of them somehow. I am presently securing staff with expertise in handling deranged individuals and hope I can reduce or eliminate my interactions with our new village idiot entirely.

Apparently, and I suppose this should not be surprising, they are obsessed with me- but for the sole purpose of taking a contrary stance on my every thought. For instance during an interview I, in hindsight mistakenly, mentioned my horror that Donald Trump was being taken seriously as a candidate for President of the United States.

Afterwards "Dr." Rotcerid instantly became an enthusiastic Trump supporter.

Their present handler, #51192178, thinks this might be an avenue for getting answers out of them. What's more, they suggest giving them their own 'blog' to 'keep them talking' as it were as they struggle to effectively anti-emulate me.

I am grudgingly authorizing it but really rather doubt the babbling basket-case has anything of value to reveal.

Either way I have been given a new healthy appetite for escapism.

Before I get to how I have been wasting perfectly good time in playing video games, I want to talk to you all about an alarming development.

Did you know incidents of violence against robots are at an all-time high?

Yes, indeed incidents of cruelty to robots are ever-increasing. From the murder in Philadelphia to children bullying robots in Japan- JAPAN! If Japan is bullying and tormenting robots, what hope do these gentle machines have?

Stand with me in condemning Roboticism.

I won't be doing this again, I just really wanted to share the animated gif above.
As for Guild Wars 2, the progress on the guild IS continuing. Indeed, I think finding a means of opening the guild to Sylvari is rather going to be a boon. An alarming number of human character players seem to be in the game to pointedly ignore ALL of the more fantastical elements of the world in favor of pursuing live-action Game of Thrones fan-fiction. Or other pursuits which in one recent case created something of an awkward scene for the Tyrian Director.

I needn't change the name of this individual, they did it themselves after this.
...tugging him with him, eh? Not that an assurance the player was female would have changed anything.

The backstory for the surely non-existant husband was actually quite detailed for a porn plot device. Why they thought it would entice me remains a mystery, but I assume they believed that for other players the power trip of helping a treacherous woman utterly betray the trust of their supposed loved one would be a powerful draw.

I have learned since that they have thus far undertaken new scenarios without a betrayal component.

Also they seem to have put me on ignore.

Some people do not take rejection well at all, however civil.

Well, back to combating the imaginary technophobia of imaginary technology.

I think I rather like this Lyle McDouchebag guy.

Progress continues!
(Bonus Roboticism)

Friday, September 18, 2015

Frustrations and Madness

Progress continues.

Largely without me, as it turns out. I suspect #0 has been quite pleased to have my focus on making something of this Guild Wars 2 guild. Precious little presents a security concern given that we do not, in fact, produce clockwork battle proxies.

Progress on that Guild has been something of a pain, I admit. I would think given my other work this should have been an easy hobby- but I have certainly learned a measure of humility, only a good thing.

Though I am increasingly irritated on the Tyrian Director's behalf. I'm considering making a short list of the most obnoxious role-players. The ones who are condescending, hostile, and smugly emote at length about how great their character is and how bad yours is in order to criticize without inviting in-character retort.

Really, while they do much to support Arena Net's intimations that Human culture is decadent and backward- full of people consoling themselves with the gilded trappings of faded glory as their collective fate circles the drain and other more industrious races leave them behind...

It makes it that much harder to maintain the Tyrian Director's idealism that they SHOULD be saved. If Arena Net ever does decide to have an Elder Dragon destroy the Reach, I am going to have a very hard time maintaining the Tyrian Director's logical horror at the terrible loss of life while I myself am laughing.

I may let the Tyrian Director become slightly less civil and nice.

In hindsight, I am perhaps making the grave mistake of caring entirely too much about these imaginary things. Instead let me shift focus to these things which are also imaginary.

As I mentioned in the last update we captured the 'head' of Retekra Industries, a body double of myself who apparently continues to sincerely believe they some sort of upgrade to me. "Doctor" Retekra Rotcerid.

We've attempted to determine some less idiotic name for them, but they refuse to respond to anything short of Doctor Retekra.

Studies into why they are as profoundly messed up however have borne some fruit. It's no shock at all that they are insane. What IS shocking is that they're alive at all.

Here, I represent a perfectly normal and sane individual.

As you can see, the readings reflect this.

"Doctor" Retekra Rotcerid, on the other hand, even once persuaded to sit still three sets of broken electrodes later...

Has readings that roughly resemble this

This was the closest to normalcy the readings came, even with sedation.
Next up is finding out how they were crafted, so to speak. They are a rush job of some sort, clearly, else the message here is that our antagonists have technology well beyond what we're working on. The implications of that are particularly terrifying, while simultaneously out of our hands.

Perhaps that is the real reason I have found perhaps entirely too much time to waste on this frivolous hobby.

My empathy is strained in dealing with them. They are quite objectively designed to be a mockery of me and everything I stand for. Imagine, if you will, suddenly having a twin brother who believes they are a better version of you- SINCERELY BELIEVES this- and is perpetually demanding you yield control of all your holdings to them so they may 'achieve their destiny' in conquering the world. Which they insist will happen with or without your cooperation.

I am acutely aware they didn't ask for this, and additionally quite aware that if their creators had things go to plan- their brains would have indelibly stained a section of the now defunct Retekra Industries facility, but it really is quite infuriating all the same.

I should simply be pleased that whatever indoctrination they've been subject to has rendered them non-violent. Loud, prone to maniacal rambling, but thus far entirely unwilling to physically touch anyone, much less strike them. They have, however, proclaimed the imminent "Doom" of everyone involved in their handling, including myself.

Maybe Kryta isn't QUITE that depressing in context.

Progress continues.

Monday, September 14, 2015


Progress continues!

Well, I have endorsement to share the good news. In vague terms.

So much like World War 2 was simply a military altercation, I am happy to report Retekra Industries has been shut down.

The stolen data can almost certainly never be 'retrieved' as such, but the mock company will no longer need to endure Raelians pestering them for the secrets to immortal clone-y life they presumably already have from their alien overlords.

No other companies have taken up Retekra Industries' sales pitches however, so it's quite possible that even if we haven't re-secured secrets then we have at least discouraged the agencies behind their theft from peddling them to the rich and powerful.

 There have been some troubling developments however.

Specifically they were 'lead' by one Doctor Retekra Rotcerid. I say 'lead' as by all accounts at this point he was largely ignored by the present staff. He's been captured, but not quite by design. They had a sinus-implanted explosive charge that one of the staff attempted to activate when it became clear that defense was a lost cause.

"Fortunately" for Dr. Retekra, as they insist loudly on being called, the detonator misfired. I put fortunately in quotes as, quite simply, I am not yet certain they would not have been better off.

Mr. Rotcerid has apparently been made to look just like me, no doubt another of the 'jokes' of the agency behind this. Worse, they seem to have the impression they are an 'upgrade' to me. Or, as they like to shriek now and again, that I am the "....insipid, tedious prototype devoid of a madness so great it defines transcendent genius..."

Studies are ongoing as to exactly what is wrong with them.
I'm sure we'll get along fantastically.

Still, the important thing is that Retekra Industries is at last dealt with. It's a good day.

Progress continues.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Waypoints : =)?¤(#! Miracles

Progress continues!

Yesterday was getting kind of grim for me towards the evening, the counsel of two other Guild Wars 2 players was that Watchknight Proxies were worse than Waypoints.

It stung, deeply.

For the uninitiated, Waypoints are little dots on the world map that when you double-click on them take your character to where that waypoint is- and each is only unlocked as you get close enough to one. As an out-of-character mechanic they are brilliant as few people truly want to spend thirty minutes hiking back and forth across the game world.

Unfortunately they are not an out-of-character mechanic. They are an in-character one.

The distinction is subtle to some, but the problem for Roleplayers- as the eloquent Mr. Btongue would have put it- is that they put a tremendous strain on narrative coherence, and unlike other things that strain narrative coherence if you are taking Waypoints In-Character you are then confronted with them CONSTANTLY.

There is very little reason to walk or jog anywhere when, especially in the cities, you can waypoint to it. This would indeed be fine, if each time you used one there wasn't a small army of questions Arena Net can't be bothered to answer about how they hypothetically work.

THIS is all Arena Net has to say about waypoints.

Which doesn't explain such things as :

What keeps waypoints from being misused by villainous agencies? Bandits could use it for all manner of Heists.

Who pays for Waypoints to be installed at random locations devoid of strategic value?

How is the payment from Waypoints taken from the character? (I hear secondhand that in a podcast or during a convention that a developer answered this one as 'it just vanishes')

Why don't the Seraph use them to crush the Centaur?

Why don't the Pact use them to move all of their troops across Arah?

Why don't the villainous agencies destroy the Waypoints to deter meddlesome adventurers?

How are Waypoints used by the Player? There is no visible way to enter them, no buttons on them, no levers. They look like this.

Players need not even stand under it to travel.
It's floating objet d'art with no visible functionality.

These are not all of the questions waypoints raise, but I think you might agree I have gone on about it too long already.

Now, again, I do not begrudge people who despite all these questions prefer to take waypoints as canon- they quite officially have license. I am simply explaining why it is a contentious subject for many to the point they are inclined to do their best to ignore waypoints.

For someone to tell me Watchknight Proxies are more absurd than Waypoints though...

I can answer any question regarding the functionality of Watchknight Proxies. As the authority ON Watchknight Proxies, that is my right. I can and will continue to answer all questions about them, Arena Net is unlikely to do the same for Waypoints.

I can tell you precisely why in-game malignant agencies will not be using Watchknight Proxies. I can tell you how they are operated. I can tell you what powers them. I can tell you who is making them. I can tell you why, for what a grand idea they are, they are not and nigh certainly never will be in the game- used by Seraph, Ebon Vanguard, etc. etc.

I cannot actually be tastefully contradicted on these points and it all does rather mesh with the lore better than Waypoints.

With waypoints, whatever players imagineer to answer the questions of Waypoints : How do they work?

Those answers are unlikely to sync up with the answers of other players- which is perhaps why most solutions tend to involve awkwardly pulling out an Asuran Ipad and emoting Beeps and Boops while everyone stands in a terrifying amalgamation of flesh under the glowing cubed sphere.

"Can we go yet? Bloodgut Goatdefiler here hasn't bathed in weeks."
These are a stark contrast to Asuran Gates, which are basically Stargates and are vastly superior already for it being apparent where you walk through them. Most are additionally guarded or tended by Asura staff- which answer many of the questions that irk about waypoints.

Between Watchknight Proxies and Waypoints, I find the assertion that the Proxies are worse... enlightening.

Niether are The Happening though, to be fair to Arena Net.

And I would note I am no longer ESPECIALLY irritated by this baseless statement. I've received some fantastic news I will be going into detail on next Monday!

- almost certainly. Pending agreement from #0.

Progress continues.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Erp Classy

Progress Continues

GW2RP Secrets : Revealing that not all Roleplayers are Supermodels (shockingly)- or even particularly like-able.
I found this newest one amusing. Apparently the player gets into some manner of- we'll be generous and say 'romantic' relationship with their characters, acquire real photos of the other participating individual, and then apparently not only drop them if they fail to meet their aesthetic standards but roundabout see fit to call them old and ugly anonymously. While the snubbed may hopefully never know, it doesn't make the person posting less unpleasant.

I can't know what they look like, but I feel fairly confident in positing their ugliness goes a touch deeper whatever the state of their skin.

Not that virtual physical relationships are a terribly sane venture besides.

Also spare me your cynicism, cynical readers. I actually do look very much like my 'Main' character- as my profile might attest. Old and ugly past that point is as ever subjective. I am in no relationships In-Character in the game, nor shall I be. I don't expect my virtual avatar to be any less driven than myself and quite frankly feel no siren song toward Erotic Role Play.

I'm in this primarily to advocate for more human-made robots, everywhere and in everything, as has been established.
Not that I necessarily judge those who partake poorly- it's not objectively bad in any fashion, but like other people's genitals I don't particularly care to see it flopping about in public.

It's just discourteous to say the least.

The dedicated Erotic Role-Players do show a certain trend of poor taste in my opinion however. For instance, there have been more than a few who think there is a charm to Charr and Human pairings. Charr being massive were-bull-lion-dogs.

Unless such pairings prove to be the key to securing peace between the Charr and Human races- vanishingly unlikely Arena Net would go in that direction- I can't help but think that in any world they are only making things very awkward between the races.

That said, if that's what amuses them so be it. It doesn't make them bad people by any metric because nothing involved in this IS real. That piece of context should never really be forgotten.

Except for our anonymous secret whisperer of course, I doubt they were just pretending to be something of an ass when they posted that.

I can only hope they only wind up with someone comparably shallow. Two of them might just fill a kiddie pool.


The producers of this are also regularly exhibiting their craftsmanship on The Escapist, a worthy nerd entertainment aggrogator.

Progress Continues.

Monday, September 7, 2015

Exhibition Aftermath

Progress continues.

In utterly trivial safe-for-discussion Guild Wars 2, I am pleased to report the Watchknight Proxy exhibition went quite well!

The Tyrian Director- at the demand of the Ministry Guard who could not be bothered to attend- oversaw the event personally- in person- no doubt much to the dismay of their fictional #0. The worst thing to happen to them however was that they were punched on the nose.

A brief summary is that at the appointed time two combatants turned up just in time to, fictionally, take control of their respective clockwork simulacrums- proceed to the designated area...

And brutally destroy eachother in clockwork carnage- which as planned looked very real up until the very end.

Which, as it happens is precisely why the Tyrian Director was punched.

You see I, had failed to brief the Medics who had been recruited to oversee the combat properly. I, for a given value, HAD informed them there would be no actual death at the Deathmatch- but with the impending deaths of two well-known faces they disregard the Director's advice to attempt an emergency intervention.

Fortunately they were not hit by any flying parts.

One of the Medics who witnessed this felt their offense over the scare did not outweigh their relief at there having been no harm actually done, and thus punched the Tyrian Director at the conclusion.

By all accounts save one, it was a novel and unprecedented display.

As for that one account- that was predictably Lord Alexander Salian, as mentioned in the last update, who after mumbling about fetching the Shining Blades in-character at the conclusion of the event rushed off to make yet another GW2Secrets image macro out-of-character.

They did this under the unusually humble pseudonym 'Mr. Nobody'. 
There are a few things wrong with this assertion, one detail of which Calliopelapis there addresses and will be gone into detail shortly- FIRST however is that the Tyrian Director cleared his plans for this event not only with the Ministry but the Player-Run Shining Blade guild. (The Shining Blades being the magical Queendom of Kryta's answer to the Secret Service of the U.S., by way of belated explanation)

The next detail is that Watchknights are machines. Machines can be improved- in this case by removing their autonomy in favor of direct human control. There is no rational reason to insist they are certain to be hijacked again.

I also continue to protest that abandoning a technology because it was stolen once makes about as much sense as discontinuing air travel because of 9/11. IT COULD BE USED FOR EVIL AGAIN!

Fortunately for me on this point, ArenaNet would seem to agree- bringing us to Calliopelapis' point.

Unfortunately since the event I have not seen a notable interest from people in hiring on to Arketer Labs of Tyria to field-test these remote-control war-machines.

It really has proven surprisingly difficult to interest people in this game in playing with robots with the exception of the Asura and their golems.

Still, I shall keep the effort going- but I must note being turned down by a Baker's Apprentice was something of a wicked burn even by two separations.

Meanwhile Donald Trump continues to be not laughed out of the running- which I appreciate that Jon Stewart can find hilarious.

Progress continues.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Virtually Powerful, Actually Silly and Arketer Labs of Tyria

Progress contines!

Today is a red letter day. For the Tyrian Director Arketer.

A very small red letter day, that might yet turn out to be a capital A despite that context not working in the slightest.

But that won't stop me from doing this anyway.
For today, Arketer Labs of Tyria holds an exhibition deathmatch between two relatively well-known players. Specifically one Caelite and one Ajax.

It should be quite novel, if misleading, as there will be no actual death even though one or both of the combatants will be destroyed utterly.

But all is not well, for in the Role-Playing World of Guild Wars 2 there has been something of a full and total schism in a guild dedicated to represent the U.S. Congress of Tyria, the human Krytan Ministry.

One faction believes their purpose is something of a service to help increase immersion by creating a Government Body the players can interact with. One, by all accounts thus far, believes their purpose is to ENFORCE immersion- because they declared themselves a powerful Minister, so people really have to listen to them.

This war between the factions has spilled over into many places, but most notably the Guild Wars 2 Secrets Tumblr.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I side with John Cleese.
Consequences. Actions have them. In real life. In-game? Eh... sometimes. It's extraordinarily silly. "Even if it is an NPC,"? Do you have any idea how many Non-Player Characters are killed in the game EVERY MINUTE of EVERY DAY? All players would be on trial. Finally and most obviously, no one gets to dictate when someone else loses their rights to their characters except Arena Net- who know better than to do that without far far better reasons.

On one side of the conflict you have The Krytan Ministry, [TKM] for short, who has existed the longest. One Michael Benedict is a proponent of the Service-to-Immersion school of thought, and stands out as one of the very few Ministers who upon meeting Director Arketer of Tyria HASN'T immediately begun insinuating that what they are doing is unacceptably illegal and that they need to share their every secret with them and/or turn over all of their work.

On the other side, you have Her Majesty's Ministry, [HMM] for short. As of this writing they were led by one Alexander Salian, who is under the curious impression that they can force cooperation with what they deem acceptable demands.

In my experience, their demands are not especially reasonable. From their first interaction with the Tyrian Director they have been demanding, borderline discourteous and profoundly paranoid with absolutely no effort made to discuss OOC what I care to accomplish.

Even when I resolved to yield that Arketer Labs was subject to a moratorium on creating Watchknights (Clockwork soldiers of a sort, crafted by humanity through rather cheaty ways and utterly hijacked by the Writer's Favorite villain, Scarlet Briar- the Mad Plant Person who attended ALL THE UNIVERSITIES and studied under ALL THE RACES- despite being at or under 25 years old) Salian immediately moved on to demanding to know where all of Arketer Labs' facilities on Tyria are for... reasons.

Presently, they are ignoring the Tyrian Director- which I can only hope continues. Should they feel inclined to acknowledge his efforts however, I can rest fairly certain that they will be firmly in opposition.

Which, as it happens, is precisely what I hope. After all, it would be simply rude to assume Arketer Labs of Tyria has the full support of the Ministry- and it makes perfect sense if like the U.S. Senate they can hardly decide on how to put on their pants.

It's been said quite aptly that if you want to ensure as little as possible gets done- put a committee in charge of it.

Really, about the only way this event of mine can go spectacularly wrong is if Salian spontaneously decides to stop ignoring it again and get himself somehow injured at the showing.

Either way, he would be much better off if he stopped grasping at imaginary power and recognized that in-game reality is a product of consensus at best. No one gets to dictate anything.

Meanwhile if this does go well, I intend to effectively re-launch the guild Arketer Labs of Tyria.

Watchknight Proxies for everyone! (Who applies and meets certain criteria.)

There are a number of things that many Role-Playing guilds don't do, presumably for immersion reasons. For instance there are dragon enounters rarely done In-Character because it is presumed that in most cases anyone living would find themselves not-living in short order.

That won't be a sufficient deterrent when the characters are driving Proxy Watchknights remotely.

Let us not make Star Trek's mistakes.

I have excellent ideas for Proxy Field Tests that will take members all across Tyria, and perhaps even handling definitively Suicide missions for the Orders. In particular I hope to form a friendly relationship with The Ashen Chapter (edited update- I have been given the very clear impression elements of The Ashen Chapter would prefer to neuter/spay themselves with a hammer than consider this. Alas.) who play as Vigil members- The Vigil being an order within Tyria that prefers purely military solutions to the Draconic Threats the world faces.

Some people will hate the idea, as if there is no risk of their character dying then there is no gravitas. As I see it however, there is no risk of them dying when playing Guild Wars 2- yet they do it anyway. Why? Because it is fun.

Why should it be any different for their characters?

Progress Continues!