#5: "You are worse than worthless!"
"Absolutely worse than without value! I mean, look at that pair of shoes over there- they're fairly old at this point and the resale value is nil, but they're not actively costing me money to keep! They eat nothing, drink nothing and do not destroy other property when they get bored! The ONLY edge you have over them is that in a post-apocalyptic starvation scenario I can't eat the shoes!"
Truly this rant, while factually accurate, is utterly pointless and diminishes the value derived from the judgement-free companionship they provide into nonexistence. It would be horrible means of chipping away at the creature's self esteem, if it had the slightest clue what this was about.
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